Thursday, December 18, 2014

Think Before You Ink and Don't Be a Dummy

I'd like to be quite clear; I am not against tattoos. I have seen some lovely tattoos that are artistic and beautiful and signify very important milestones in peoples' lives, and I think when used appropriately they can be a very interesting art form. However, about 80 percent of the time, tattoos can only end terribly. Here's why:
When most people get tattoos, they are young. Their skin is unblemished, unwrinkled and generally very healthy. So if you're thinking, "I'm a free spirit, a dolphin encircled by daisies and rainbows is a perfect reflection of my personality, I should totally get this tattooed on my butt, what could go wrong?" Well you silly dumb-dumb, I'll tell you.
You will not look the way you do now in twenty years. Your skin will sag and wrinkle and you will get fat. Yes, a good amount of you will get fat, be ready for that. That cute little dolphin tattoo isn't going to be so cute and little for long. It only goes downhill from here. Your tattoo will never look any better than it does right now, so if you choose to get some ink, live it up while you can, because your enjoyment of your tattoo will be fleeting.
Another reason why a tattoo can screw up your plans and aspirations is that surprisingly enough, nobody wants to hire the guy with the dragon tattoo on his face. That guy will not do well selling vacuum cleaners door to door. That guy will not do well in a sales meeting. That guy will never successfully persuade a client to sign a contract. That guy is a freak. Even if you are the brightest, most creative and innovative person in your field, you will not get a job because everyone will be terrified of you. I feel like this is just common sense, but you'd be surprised at the number of people who don't feel the same way.
To top it off, if you're thinking about getting a tattoo of your favorite band or celebrity or your significant others' face, I would advise against it. Because as pessimistic as this sounds, things change. Your music taste matures, celebrities become irrelevant and your boyfriend/girlfriend becomes a douche bag. Stuff happens. So before getting something as permanent as a tattoo, think about how permanent the things in your life are. At about this time three years ago, my favorite band was Fall Out Boy. If I had gotten a tattoo of the lead singer's face on my boob, I'd regret it, because Fall Out Boy sucks. Think about it.

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